You know when you take a survey and the section that says “check which age group applies to you.” Yay, that one. There seems to always be a time in my life that I move from one box to the next and it is uncomfortable or emotional. This year it is a little bit of both; uncomfortable and emotional.
I am almost embarrassed to say this, but I am coming out of the box. The box that says you must face it, you are getting older, you are changing, and it is time to face the facts. Well, I've noticed a few “facts” that I do not like. The most interesting part for me, is that I think the change has been happening for a few months, but I have not paid attention to the symptoms.
Oh, you may not know what I am talking about, “menopause.” Yuck, but okay, I admit it. Yes, I am getting older and my body is warning me or screaming at me is more like it (tears running down my face).
I have a select of friends that I have recently shared my experiences with and they giggle and say “it's alright you're just going through the change.” I began to wonder, “what is this change they are talking about?” So I started looking up the term “menopause” online and began reading some of the medical write ups on this, disease, Well it is discomforting but I can't call it a “disease.” It isn't called that in the dictionary, but I sure would call it a “dis-ease.”
The next step was to find out what are the symptoms. That was fun ~ NOT!
I got a list of possibilities and most of them were answered with “yes, yep, uh huh, and oh no.” Then the big symptom came....weight gain, I yelled within myself “NOOO!” I've been trying to eat right, exercise right, and do all that I could to have weight management.
Then I read a few more like “mood swings,” I said to myself matter of factly “well I'm not going to get that one.” What do you know, in a split moment I was crying and then happy again (shew).
Can't I just yell “Calgon, take me away!” and it be over? My friends, the ones I am moving over to their box said “no honey, just roll with it.” Just roll with it? I feel like I am on a roller coaster ride and it's not enjoyable.
I must say this for all it is worth. I am a single woman with grown children. I feel as though I have spared a spouse or significant other and my children from the agony of dealing with me and my “symptoms.” Funny isn't it, when we, women, go through puberty we want our mother's close and when we get older and go through the “change” we want someone to hold us one minute and the next minute we want them to go away. How fickle is that at our age? I can only laugh.
I look forward to what lies ahead for me, but not with great expectations. Funny, I now feel like an alien, an outcast, a leper and yet, I have a box that I am crossing over to with others who understand and have experienced what I am experiencing now.
For what it is worth ladies, no matter what you do you can't stop God from changing you from the inside out.
Going to enjoy life in a whole new way,
Marjorie
