Answered Prayers

Are you a person that writes your prayers down in a journal and watch God answer them? Do you write down your victories through God in a journal?  How do you remember what God has done for you lately?
I can honestly say I do not write down my prayers nor the victories in my life. I probably should, I might have something more interesting to write about. I'm just kidding.....
Well, this morning is different. You might be a little smarter than me, but I realized that I can be angry with God and he makes a way for victory; I am here to write it down. I had a situation happen that I got mad at Rodney and God. I went for a walk to talk with God the Father. I told him I didn't like what he allowed to happen, I blamed God for the decisions at hand, I was beyond mad at a few times that I wanted to throw something, scream from the top of my lungs, but instead I went shopping.  Yep, at 5:30am I was at Walmart by 5:38am. I need to mention that I took a walk at midnight yelling at God within my small voice and in my kitchen I raised my fist to the Lord, I was purely angry the night before. I woke up still angry and I tried to follow scripture “In your anger do not sin” : Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry,....etc. However, I did. I don't remember sleeping at all. I woke up just as mad as I did, if not more, when I woke up. Therefore, I went shoppping. On the way to the store, which by the way is empty that early in the morning and it's a great stress releaser, I stopped the car and looked at the moon because I heard a still small voice tell me to. So I did. I heard "I made that moon." I replied, "yes I know you did and it's nice." I didn't want to hear anymore so I put the car into drive and moved onward with my task at hand; shopping.
On the way home, I decided not to agree with being angry anymore. I asked God to show me why He allowed this situation to happen. Why were darts thrown at my heart like they were, why did this disagreement have to happen at this particular time in my life.
So,I brought my two bags of groceries in, went onto my porch and sat in my abmaster chair. No I did not work out, I stared at the stars and the touch of moon showing through the trees. I heard that still small voice again "relax and breathe." I took a deep breath and I began crying. I was hurt, my heart was broken. I didn't realize God was trying to change me within minutes. He wasn't. I recognized he wasn't trying to show me something, but someone else.
God's word of truth tells us But let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’ For whatever is more than these is from the evil one. Matthew 5:37
Rodney and I made a decision together, we both said "yes" in agreement on a particular situation. This decision we made was a small one, the object we agreed on was a small one. However, just two days before we were to walk through the decision Rodney and I made his decision changed to "no." Now this decision cost money, time, effort, and sacrifices.
His "no, I'm not going to do this" made me fly off the handle. I have learned that my 'yes' needs to be 'yes' and my 'no' needs to be 'no'. I've worked diligently to be a woman of my word. I still die daily to that promise of waivering in the flesh.  Not just that, but when it is a small decision between two people there is trust involved and when one of you makes a change it breaks that trust. It can determine how we handle larger decisions in the future.
I have worked hard to be trusting of a man. I hold onto the scripture "let God be true and every man a liar." Romans 3:4 I am not perfect, I strive to be better than I was and I continue to be all that I can be for God and others as he molds me to be. I am faaar from perfect.
God was using our decision making to be a lesson for Rodney. I don't know how this will work out, I don't know if this will alter the situation, but what I do know is that no matter what side we are on; it's a sacrifice. It is a sacrifice to be a woman/man of our word. It is a sacrifice to keep your mind and eyes on the those things which are pure, noble, pure, lovely, good report, or praiseworthy.
God made a sacrificial decision when he came off of his throne to be beaten beyond recognition for the sin in our lives. We are all guilty of placing Jesus on the cross. It was a sacrifice for him and he loves us so much to do that. He is worthy of me and you writing down our victories, answered prayers, and even our angry moments.
Thank you Rodney and God for this time of valleys and mountain tops to celebrate God's resurrection.

~BUT GOD!