Giving up

There are two people that have come to the end of their rope. One has lost his family, his home, his work, and all the things that he has worked so hard to establish. He is in ruins and cannot find anything to be joyful about, no not one thing.
The other is a woman. She is in a dark room filled with quietness, turmoil, and just at the edge and ready to take a leap into the unknown.

Both of these people  are saying things like:
“I wish the day I was born would be lost forever and it never happened."

"I wish the darkness had carried away that night, that it was left off the calendar and not included in any of the months."

"I wish that on the day I was born I was kept from seeing all these troubles."

"Why wasn't I a child who died at birth and was put in the ground?"

"I wish I had been buried like a baby who never saw the light of day."
“Why must a suffering person continue to live?"
"Why let anyone live such a bitter life?"

I don't know about you, but I too have felt this way in my lifetime. I definitely was ready to turn out the lights. 

How about you? Have you ever felt this way? Sometimes, we think that what we are going through is never going to end. The hurt we feel is a dark hole and we keep spiraling into the deep abyss.
I have witnessed a man and woman who are in such pain that they cannot express exactly what they are feeling. It is truly indescribable.

The hardest part about being in this dark abyss is  that we feel like there is no one who understands us or  even wants to try to understand us. Other people in our lives want to tell us we have a sin problem or a spiritual problem. But what if it isn't? "What if" isn't going to answer our problem.

I believe in encouraging one another, finding out where our confidence lies, and keeping a victory journal. Yes, a victory journal. It is a list of all the things we have accomplished in our lives. Take it a step further and list what you have accomplished that you could not do in your own strength. I am sure there is at least one or two.

I'll let you in on a secret; the sayings in quotation marks are those of Job right after he lost everything from including his family and his possessions.  He worked his whole life to acquire these things and lost it all in the blink of an eye. The female person was me, but I am an example of many or all of us. God has a plan, a purpose for your life. He has done many great things through you and me and will continue to do so as long as we are willing vessels.

If you or someone you know is at that breaking point to end life as we know it. I encourage you to look up. Truly "LOOK UP!" The creator of this universe has a plan and a purpose for your life.  That plan may be a kind word or a smile that someone needs from you today.  

There are many hurting people in the world and many of us need to know that God has a plan. His plan is good, perfect, and pleasing. Be open to ask Him what your purpose is and then wait for Him to respond.

~Be encouraged. Take one day at a time, one moment at a time, and you will survive!

Behavior and Customs of this World

I woke up this morning with my mind racing with images as though it was a computer searching for a specific photo. Next it was like it found what it was looking for; a scripture from Romans 12:2, which I will share in a moment, then last my mind settled on the Halloween season.
I decided to get up and jot down my thoughts, but then I realized it was something I needed to share with you. I came to my computer desk which has my dad's Bible on it and opened to Romans 12:2 in The Living Bible (TLBPV).  My immediate thought was "wow!"
It reads; "Don't copy the behavior and customs of this world, but be a new and different person with a fresh newness in all you do and think.  Then you will learn from your own experience how his ways will really satisfy you."
I think about the story of Moses, when he went up to the mountain to meet God and while there, Aaron was coerced by the people to make a golden calf and they worshiped it instead of the living God who had been with them. I picture them with their faces painted, dressed in costumes and partying.
They were worshiping something that is not real, not substantial, and not praise worthy. It definitely was not God's will for them to be worshiping this idol and it was not satisfying because Aaron knew it was wrong.
Why do you participate in Halloween? Do you recognize it for a time of celebrating the fall season's arrival? Do you participate in Halloween because it's what's you've always done?
Let us take it a step further. Is dressing up in costumes wrong? No, I don't believe it is. Is asking for candy that is being given as a gift wrong? No, I don't believe that is either.
But, if you or someone you know is dressing up as a vampire who slurps blood, a mummy that has been dead for years, or a killer with a white shirt covered in blood with a bloody knife in hand, this should raise a flag of concern. It is then I must ask "what are you doing this for and why?"  You say you are a follower of Christ and He lives inside you."  If that is the truth, then you will be as the scriptures say "a new and different person with a fresh newness in all you do and think."
You cannot serve two masters. You will love one and hate the other. Do you hate Jesus? Why would you celebrate something that glorifies Satan's kingdom? Think on the things that are true, right, noble and praiseworthy.
To change the way you celebrate bringing in the new season would be to dress as a biblical character, be funny and witty with your costume. Make your costume a conversation starter for those who don't know Christ. Show the light that lives inside you by what you wear on the outside.

One year I dressed up as a cat at my job. I thought I was cute and far from being sexy or enticing. However, there were a couple of ladies that were offended by my attire. They said it was alluring to their husbands and asked the management to tell me to put some clothes on.  The ladies were right in what they did even if I did get upset and was smart alecky about it.   I walked around professing I was a Christian, but I didn't act like it and my attire didn't match my words. It was then that I realized I WAS in the wrong.

We are not to copy the behavior and customs of this world, we are to be a new and different person with all that we do and think. I hope you will ask yourself;  "why do I do what I do, am I pleasing God, and does it satisfy me?"

~
Be encouraged to be the only Bible that someone may read and courageous enough to let them

Lack in Giving Grace

I find myself lacking in the ability to give grace to others. For example, when my children lived at home, I'd tell them to take the trash out and expected them to have it done right after the question mark left my lips.  Instead of allowing them time to finish their current task before starting on my request. Years later, I still do not give enough grace to others. Just recently I had a situation with the turn signal not being turned off in a timely manner by my beloved Rodney. I would quickly point out that he had to manually turn it off.  He turned to me and said; "Wow, no grace from you." That statement echoed in my head for hours.
Today, most people lack that kind of grace. While standing in a local grocery store check out line, I witnessed a mother scolding her child just as quickly as she told the young boy to stop touching a piece of candy.  She gave no room for grace to wait for the child to do what she told him. Are we living in a fast forward world?  It appears this way as I noticed this mother and took my own inventory on grace.

God is quick to extend grace to me and I am forever slow at extending it others.
Jesus showed His grace to His accusers as He was nailed to the cross at Calvary.
I am ashamed of my behavior.

Just for today, I choose to offer grace more freely so that tomorrow when given the opportunity I will give it again; easily.

~Be encouraged, you can teach an old dog new tricks.

From Regrets to Freedom

Regrets: We all have them and all of us could make a long list to prove it.
God says this about regret:
¹⁰ For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death. (NLT).

I have experienced that kind of sorrow . The sorrow God wants us to experience that leads us away from sin and results in salvation.  I have heard it said that God is the only one that is able to go back in our past and make things right; not us. He is omipresent and is able to do more than we can ask or think. I believe it is true.
During my vacation, I have experienced healing from my past. In just a few days here I have made amends with my mother, visited tthe place where my abortions took place and lastly made peace with myself.

Some people have the mentality that Celebrate Recovery is just for addicts of alcohol and drugs. I have been involved with CR for four years and it has helped me to face my past hurts and hang-ups. Other people have the mentality that a Women's Resource Center is just for pregnant under age girls who find themselves with a problem.  Both of these ideas are right on one hand and wrong on the other. These ministries have helped me to overcome and allow God to make some great changes in me that I am about to share with you.

Early one morning, my mother and I talked about why I have stayed in Florida for approximately 25 years. She told me I was "preachy" so I bragged on Jesus for a while. This opened a door for me to share how I had been abused by my ex husband. I had to express to her how all these years she blamed a friend for my wild days, was actually my fault.  I knew I had to ask her to forgive me for the hurt I caused her and my father when I became pregnant for the first time at age fourteen.  I expressed the fears I encountered as a youth, how I had doubt that she would believe me if I told her I was an abused woman and how I had too much pride to come home. I explained how when I didn't have anyone to talk to Jesus was there. I shared how I had to eat the word of God in order to get through one day. So, if I was "preachy" it was because I brag on Jesus not to push him onto anyone. Celebrate Recovery helped me to face my fear and talk to my mother. This conversation brought understanding to my mother and healing to myself.

One night, Rodney and I drove around the Norfolk and Virginia Beach area with Sadie in the back seat. We had a great time walking the beach, eating expensive ice cream, and acting like kids. We experienced a lot of good memories. Then as the night was winding down, I came across the abortion clinic I visited twice. It was then I realized just how much healing I went through at a Women's Resource Center. The clinic is no longer there, but the building was still standing. It is a five story high rise with many office rooms inside.

We parked outside in approximately the same parking space that I remembered parking in at one of the visits. I talked to Rodney about how there were picketers in the front of the building and as I walked out of the back after all was said and done, a picketer was at the back door. This person was yelling "baby killer." I was numb as a child to the comments, but as an adult walking through the trauma all over again in a study "Forgiven and Set  Free," at the resource center, it hurt.
Rodney kept reminding me that I was forgiven and how God loved me enough to walk me through this. I turned to him and said, "I have forgiven myself."

Now I really understand the scripture below. It was through God leading me to both CR and a Women's Resource Center that I was able to go to certain places, talk to people, and have a peaceful drive with my soul mate during which I was able to talk and share my recovery with you.
James 5:16
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

You might be struggling with a painful memory, have attitudes towards certain thoughts, cry uncontrollably when you see something happening on a television show or cringe when you drive by a place from your past. These are all triggers in your system telling you that there is a hurt and God is leading you to heal from it. I encourage you ask Jesus to show you where you can get healing from your past, stop going around and around on your emotional merry-go-round, and start moving forward to a peaceful future.

~Be encouraged; it is FREEING!

(Correction: the abortion clinic is still open.I found out a day later by seeing the picketers)

Casting Cares

The first step in recovery is to recognize that you have a hurt, habit or hang-up. I just realized I have a hang-up. I work a lot. I had to laugh when I looked up the meaning of the word vacation and saw the first definition.

va·ca·tion

 [ vay káysh'n ]   

1. Break from work: a period of time devoted to rest, travel, or recreation

The key word in this definition is "devoted."
A person can get so "devoted" to their responsibilities at work that they cannot take a break from work. Prime example. We were traveling to Virginia. On Friday as we were traveling to Virginia, I received an email on my phone about an event on our community calendar, so I began to work. I made a choice to either do it myself or take a break from work. I choose to have my stand-in at work take care of it,  but I kept working. Then she finally let me have it on the other end of the phone. She told me to let go because I was on vacation.  I recognize that I am a person who takes my responsibilities seriously.  I want to make sure I carry my weight and complete my part of the work load. I don't like leaving my work for someone else to do. Therefore, it's very easy for me to get uptight about my responsibilities and make sure I do them right. I didn't mean any harm.
I also recognized that I am not hurting anyone but myself. My body was relaxing, but my mind was still at work.
God tells us to "cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you" and he tells us "do not cast away our confidence which has great reward."
He is telling me to let go and let Him. I don't do enough casting of my cares onto Him. It might be because I think I can get it done better than He can. My timing is better than His timing. I want it done NOW.
However, I have come to realize that I am not God and I am not in control. I am in control of my thinking. So, I am casting my work cares over to the control of God and placing my confidence in Him and the others He has put into place to help me. I am going on "vacation" not just physically but mentally.
I am choosing at this moment to keep my focus on my family and friends. I am going to let go of my anal retentive behavior, cast my cares away, and take this time to be devoted to rest, travel, and recreation.
I know my husband will appreciate it because I will get some complete rest.

God, I thank you for watching over us.
Thank you for knowing what we need when we need it.
Thank you for knowing who we need in our life to help us with all of the task while we are away.
 Thank you for allowing us to recognize when we need to rest and help us keep our
confidence in you, so that we may receive your great reward.


~Be encouraged He cares about your worries and can take care of them too.