Learning About Yourself

Do you have days when you find out things about yourself?  I learned a lot of things about myself that I didn't like and need to change. First, let me say, counseling comes in many different forms and all of them can be good for your health. It can be good for those around you too. What I know to be true is that we don't have to stay in counseling for a lifetime. Shew, that was good news to me.
Yep, I went to counseling for three remarkable days. In this fast pace time, I learned that I believed that difficulties meant that something was wrong in my marriage and it was over.  Yep, I was ready to run when difficulties came. I began to isolate, become inverted, dive deeper into projects going on around me, and worse, prepare myself because my marriage was doomed for failure....again.  I was preparing for divorce.
I didn't like myself and I began changing some of my eating habits, lacked exercise and fitness, worse my attitude was changing.  I was drowning in my own demise. The worse part, was that my guy had NO CLUE. What I found out is that I was not being fair to him.
I found out the truth.  I have learned that difficulties do not mean something is wrong with my marriage. My response to difficulties will and can either drive my spouse and I apart or it will bind us together. This was very freeing. I can now face problems in my marriage with the attitude that we will get through this instead of this will end us. I can talk about what is bothering me instead of dancing around the problem and ignoring it. My wall doesn't have to come up, I just have to stop layering the bricks by talking about things regardless of how it is received. Last, I must have a plan to move through these difficult times without rejecting or withdrawing from my guy.
Next, I learned that I keep my house dark.  Now, I have lived in a home where I had one window and little light shine through. Therefore, I got use to a dark home. But, now I live in a home that doesn't have to be dark inside; I just make it dark. Is  this a form of habit? Maybe. Is this a sign that I was beginning to get depressed? Possibility. Well it is time to let the sunshine through! I am over 40, I am not prepared to grow old, but it is going to happen. I just don't have to act like I am dead yet. With this being said, bright colors are in my future, changing my style because I want to and can. I've realized that I like myself and bright things make me happy. I use to worry about what other people thought about my wardrobe. Do I look my age or am I looking too young?  I don't care anymore. I don't have to impress anyone, just like me for me. By changing from dark to light, our attitudes change too.
The last thing that I found out about myself is that I am timid when it comes to PDA (Public Display of Affection). I was shocked when I discovered this about myself. Wow, didn't see that one coming. By traveling back in time, I remembered numerous times I was given the wrong types of public display of affection and this embarrassed me.  I didn't say anything back then because I thought all women were disrespected that way. Now, my guy shows me the right kind of affection in public and I still was timid. By exploring my feelings about PDA and talking things through with my guy this weekend, we came to an agreement. We have made up "secret agent codes and kisses." We want people to see God's love for us and to do that we must mirror God's image. Therefore, God is love and one form of love is kissing. Now I'm not talking about french or drool kisses, but respectful "I love you" kisses. You know, we've tried them and I am more comfortable then ever in my entire life. This just might be fun after all.

You can have this same type of counseling. Yep, it is available to you too. I recommend you go to www.familylife.com/weekend and find out where a location is coming near you and attend.  It is very much worth the trip. One last thing I learned that I did not know.  With our without children in our lives; the husband and wife make up the family, the kids are the extension of.

~ Be encouraged
You are not alone when it comes to how you feel about yourself or your marriage.

Silence Isn't Always Golden

I have not written on my site for a while because I have so many things running through my heart and mind.
What I do know is that silence is not always golden. God put us with people so that we can converse with one another, love one another, care and pray for each other. But when we get silent, the negative side of us comes out. We begin to worry, stress, become anxious, fearful, and side with the spirit of torment.
I've heard that silence is a form of rejection, but is it really?  I think of silence as a positive thing too.  I would rather be silent and bite my tongue than spew off at my mouth and say something that I will regret later.

I hope that if you are going through a struggle of some kind; talk it out with someone close to you.

Don't keep things bottled up inside and make yourself a personal prison; it won't help you to feel good.

God put people in our lives so that we can edify one another and not break us apart. Like I recently told a friend of mine, if you are in the negative ways of thinking, get a foam bat from the Dollar Tree, bring it home and beat your bed until you cry. Trust me, you will feel better after a good hard swing or 50.

Whatever you do, don't keep silent; it can put your body into a twist that even a pretzel can't get out of.

~Be encouraged, I've beat a bed or two in my time too. It works if you work it.