From Regrets to Freedom

Regrets: We all have them and all of us could make a long list to prove it.
God says this about regret:
¹⁰ For the kind of sorrow God wants us to experience leads us away from sin and results in salvation. There’s no regret for that kind of sorrow. But worldly sorrow, which lacks repentance, results in spiritual death. (NLT).

I have experienced that kind of sorrow . The sorrow God wants us to experience that leads us away from sin and results in salvation.  I have heard it said that God is the only one that is able to go back in our past and make things right; not us. He is omipresent and is able to do more than we can ask or think. I believe it is true.
During my vacation, I have experienced healing from my past. In just a few days here I have made amends with my mother, visited tthe place where my abortions took place and lastly made peace with myself.

Some people have the mentality that Celebrate Recovery is just for addicts of alcohol and drugs. I have been involved with CR for four years and it has helped me to face my past hurts and hang-ups. Other people have the mentality that a Women's Resource Center is just for pregnant under age girls who find themselves with a problem.  Both of these ideas are right on one hand and wrong on the other. These ministries have helped me to overcome and allow God to make some great changes in me that I am about to share with you.

Early one morning, my mother and I talked about why I have stayed in Florida for approximately 25 years. She told me I was "preachy" so I bragged on Jesus for a while. This opened a door for me to share how I had been abused by my ex husband. I had to express to her how all these years she blamed a friend for my wild days, was actually my fault.  I knew I had to ask her to forgive me for the hurt I caused her and my father when I became pregnant for the first time at age fourteen.  I expressed the fears I encountered as a youth, how I had doubt that she would believe me if I told her I was an abused woman and how I had too much pride to come home. I explained how when I didn't have anyone to talk to Jesus was there. I shared how I had to eat the word of God in order to get through one day. So, if I was "preachy" it was because I brag on Jesus not to push him onto anyone. Celebrate Recovery helped me to face my fear and talk to my mother. This conversation brought understanding to my mother and healing to myself.

One night, Rodney and I drove around the Norfolk and Virginia Beach area with Sadie in the back seat. We had a great time walking the beach, eating expensive ice cream, and acting like kids. We experienced a lot of good memories. Then as the night was winding down, I came across the abortion clinic I visited twice. It was then I realized just how much healing I went through at a Women's Resource Center. The clinic is no longer there, but the building was still standing. It is a five story high rise with many office rooms inside.

We parked outside in approximately the same parking space that I remembered parking in at one of the visits. I talked to Rodney about how there were picketers in the front of the building and as I walked out of the back after all was said and done, a picketer was at the back door. This person was yelling "baby killer." I was numb as a child to the comments, but as an adult walking through the trauma all over again in a study "Forgiven and Set  Free," at the resource center, it hurt.
Rodney kept reminding me that I was forgiven and how God loved me enough to walk me through this. I turned to him and said, "I have forgiven myself."

Now I really understand the scripture below. It was through God leading me to both CR and a Women's Resource Center that I was able to go to certain places, talk to people, and have a peaceful drive with my soul mate during which I was able to talk and share my recovery with you.
James 5:16
Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.

You might be struggling with a painful memory, have attitudes towards certain thoughts, cry uncontrollably when you see something happening on a television show or cringe when you drive by a place from your past. These are all triggers in your system telling you that there is a hurt and God is leading you to heal from it. I encourage you ask Jesus to show you where you can get healing from your past, stop going around and around on your emotional merry-go-round, and start moving forward to a peaceful future.

~Be encouraged; it is FREEING!

(Correction: the abortion clinic is still open.I found out a day later by seeing the picketers)

Casting Cares

The first step in recovery is to recognize that you have a hurt, habit or hang-up. I just realized I have a hang-up. I work a lot. I had to laugh when I looked up the meaning of the word vacation and saw the first definition.

va·ca·tion

 [ vay káysh'n ]   

1. Break from work: a period of time devoted to rest, travel, or recreation

The key word in this definition is "devoted."
A person can get so "devoted" to their responsibilities at work that they cannot take a break from work. Prime example. We were traveling to Virginia. On Friday as we were traveling to Virginia, I received an email on my phone about an event on our community calendar, so I began to work. I made a choice to either do it myself or take a break from work. I choose to have my stand-in at work take care of it,  but I kept working. Then she finally let me have it on the other end of the phone. She told me to let go because I was on vacation.  I recognize that I am a person who takes my responsibilities seriously.  I want to make sure I carry my weight and complete my part of the work load. I don't like leaving my work for someone else to do. Therefore, it's very easy for me to get uptight about my responsibilities and make sure I do them right. I didn't mean any harm.
I also recognized that I am not hurting anyone but myself. My body was relaxing, but my mind was still at work.
God tells us to "cast your cares on the LORD and he will sustain you" and he tells us "do not cast away our confidence which has great reward."
He is telling me to let go and let Him. I don't do enough casting of my cares onto Him. It might be because I think I can get it done better than He can. My timing is better than His timing. I want it done NOW.
However, I have come to realize that I am not God and I am not in control. I am in control of my thinking. So, I am casting my work cares over to the control of God and placing my confidence in Him and the others He has put into place to help me. I am going on "vacation" not just physically but mentally.
I am choosing at this moment to keep my focus on my family and friends. I am going to let go of my anal retentive behavior, cast my cares away, and take this time to be devoted to rest, travel, and recreation.
I know my husband will appreciate it because I will get some complete rest.

God, I thank you for watching over us.
Thank you for knowing what we need when we need it.
Thank you for knowing who we need in our life to help us with all of the task while we are away.
 Thank you for allowing us to recognize when we need to rest and help us keep our
confidence in you, so that we may receive your great reward.


~Be encouraged He cares about your worries and can take care of them too.