My Testimony

I am here to share what God has done for me when I realized I was broken and He was the only one who could rebuild me.
I was fourteen when I was yearning for God's love. I didn't know it though.
I started looking for love through sexual experiences, which turned into an addiction. 1. Addiction: the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit forming, to such an extent that it causes trauma.
Next, I became addicted to drugs and then to alcohol. I was consumed with over fifteen fears. Fear of Satan, fear of man, fear of success and failure. I dealt with suicide, abortions, abuse, and more with myself or others in my family.
I heard the phrase "Nothing changes if nothing changes." I was ready for a change.
The choices I made lead me to bondage, but God wanted to set me free. Satan didn't want me to tell his dirty lies, BUT GOD DID!
I stood up one day and said "Okay Lord, I'm trusting you to take care of me and all I have is yours." It was then that my journey of surrender began.
First: Apart from God I can do nothing. I had to admit he was the answer to my way of life. He was the only TRUTH in my life.
SECOND: I had to forgive myself by looking in a mirror. I had to take responsibility for my decisions that brought me to this place of destitute.
You can't heal a wound by saying it's not there.
THIRD: I had to humbly admit to God, myself, and another human being the details of my bad choices. I had to walk through the darkness of my life and allow God to start changing me.
I had to read his word morning, noon and night. I wrote them on 3X5 cards and posted them on my walls. I asked God questions like: WHY ME? GOD DON'T YOU CARE? GOD, ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME, DO YOU HEAR ME?
God allows what he hates to accomplish what he loves.
God loves it when I bring my hurts, anger, and questions to him.
God loves it when I get snot nose to the floor and cry "I can't take it anymore"
Now I ask you. What in my story encourages you to let go of yourself and let God change you? What do you have to lose? What are you waiting for?
Jesus loves you just as you are.