Marriage

  I once was told "the world is your oyster and you are the pearl." this means, by his definition, that I have the opportunity to do whatever I want and become whatever I want.
  Once, I was like a caged bird and in some ways I still am. A caged bird has no where to go, is in bondage from doing what he would like to do: fly, sit on tree limb, who knows? The point is, he has no freedom.
If you have read my testimony before, you know I lived in fear and dealt with many different types of fears. Recently, I found a few more. I have a fear of marriage, a successful marriage for certain, and fear of the future.
  You see, I know what scripture tells me and I know that nothing compares to the promises
 I have from God. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me, and I know he will supply my every need.  My flesh thinks otherwise.
So, now that I know what my fears are, I have something to work on.
 I have something for Father God to help me change.
Do you know what happens to our physical bodies when we live in fear?
It breaks down, it brings on illnesses, it gets our panties in wad and our vital organs break down.
God came for us to have life and have it more abundantly. We live in this life thinking we don't deserve to have a good life, much less a life full of blessings from love.
God loves us unconditionally. So, why is it hard for some of us to know what unconditional love is and be able to love unconditionally? Is it a state of mind? Is it a matter of the heart? Is it a choice we make?
I am not looking for answers from you, but I am looking to God of Love to show me the answers.
I am involved with a class from the movie "Fireproof." it has struck a nerve a time or two and it has begun to raise questions for me and about myself.
What I do know, is that I want to love and know love. I want to love unconditionally, and I do not want fear, but, confidence in a marriage along with success.  Is it trusting what I cannot see? Is it learning how to deal with issues by having tools in my tool box to work on those things I can see, I can hear, and I can touch?
I want to say with confidence that I will take care of my spouse and be there for him no matter what monkey wrench is thrown at us. I want confidence to give and receive care in the daily dealings of struggles of health issues, life issues, and more.
I don't want to runaway or for the marriage to be one sided when the chips fall.
I do however want a healthy marriage, a prosperous and strong marriage. I want a partner for life, a help mate, my best friend, and more. I want to stand on solid ground when the ground underneath me shakes.

Now there are other questions that arise for me from thinking about marriage.
Am I too old? If I can do all the things I want to do, like my friends' statement earlier, will I do all the those activities on my list? Will my partner be able to or want to do the same things as I do? What if he can't? What if he won't?
Will I still go and do or will I stop and do different activities?
Is this part of the unconditional love that I need to learn about?
I am guessing the Lord still has me in training classes. I don't have the answers, but He does, and I have to be still and know he is control.

I am excited to share an evening conference with you. If you are in or near
Palatka, Florida, March 27th from 5:00pm - 7:00pm
there will be a conference on "What Divorce Taught Me About Marriage" at
First Baptist Church Palatka, 501 Oak Street.
Child Care will be provided.
For more information go to http://www.whif.org/ to the community calendar.
Maybe this conference will help both of us to put tools into our life tool box.
We won't know unless we try and go to it.