New Beginnings

♫ I'm in a hurry to get things done, oh I rush and rush until life's no fun. All I really gotta to do is live and die, but I'm in a hurry and don't know why.♪  Do you know this song by Alabama? It really explains how I lived my life. I did things my way. I remember a time in my life that my parents and siblings tried to explain to me that I didn't have to get married at age 18. I didn't listen, I wanted my life to begin, be my own boss, and do what I wanted to do.
Little did I know that that was the beginning of the hardest life's lessons I had to endure. It was a good time too, don't get me wrong. I have two beautiful children and a grandson that came from this adventure I call "wild child years."
My "wild child years" didn't stop until 2005 or more. I still wanted to have both of my feet on each side of the road.  You know what I mean. The left foot is on the bible side and the yellow line in the middle with the right foot on the worldly side. I wanted my cake and to eat it too. I quickly found out that the Lord wanted all of me. So one day, I realized what I was doing, how being worldly made me feel and I decided that one Saturday evening coming home from Celebrate Recovery that I wanted all of God's blessings. So I turned my life around and made a complete change.
The best way for me to express what is happening in my life would to call it "New Beginnings." You see, I cling to what the LORD says in His word.
Psalm 37:3-4 
Trust in the LORD, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.
 ⁴ Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
I truly believe that if the LORD wants me to surrender to His desires therefore His desires become my desires. I only have to trust in Him and do what He wants me to do.
I recently recognized that sometimes we relapse into our old selves in order to allow God to move us forward. We are tempted without knowing why and we relapse. It is in that moment we make a choice to live in this is old lifestyle or not.
No matter what I walked through I knew the Lord wanted to restore to me what the locusts have stolen.
“ So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, The crawling locust, The consuming locust, And the chewing locust, My great army which I sent among you." Joel 2:25
I recently shared with you that Jesus showed me that I was in a relationship with Him and it really opened my spiritual conscious. I really enjoyed the reality of a personal, realistic, and progressive relationship with the Creator. He loves me and I love him, what could be better? Having a partner to share God's love with others, enjoying pleasing God the way He wants to be pleased and journeying on a road that He paves and not ourselves.
This to me would make life better. I want a relationship where I am free to be me, trusted, and not afraid of anything; a warrior. Yes, a warrior for Jesus in my life, that is what I want.
I think God looked at me and laughed "haha, I know what you want because it's what I want too." I wasn't looking for anyone to be my partner, I wasn't "scoping the scene," or
even looking. I honestly was crying out to God and surrendering that since Timothy states that it is better to be alone and serve the Lord that is what I will do.  I found peace in my heart when I surrendered to this reality.
I can honestly say that my life has changed and it is changing in ways I never thought or imagined, but isn't that like God?  He says his ways are higher than my ways and his thoughts are higher than my thoughts, so why should I be surprised at what he is accomplishing through me?  I'm not surprised anymore.  I have my spiritual conscious eyes open and I can see him at work around me. I love it.
I have so much to share, but for now I must go and do the work he has prepared for me to do today.
I pray you are seeing God's love like you have never seen it before. He truly is the King of kings and the Lord of lords and loves with an everlasting love.
Hmmmmm, oh how I love him.

~Marjorie