Growth Spurts

I recently experienced a spiritual growth spurt with my friend and sweetheart Rodney. It was suggested to us to read 1 John 4:18 by Pastor Chad. So one evening we pulled out the scripture and began reading. As Rodney and I engaged in the Lord's words my eyes began to swell with tears. I began to feel healing within my spirit. You see for a long time, dating back to being seven years old; I thought I was going to be abandoned by my mother. She and my dad had an argument, my mom got into the car and drove off. I remember turning to my dad and asked with pain in my heart "is she coming back?" My dad sweetly replied "she didn't take her clothes, so she'll be back." They were married for over 55 years before he passed away in 2009.
This opened a door that I didn't realize had been opened. Then my heart was broken once more by my first boyfriend. I gave all I had in emotions to this young man, I gave myself to him completely and totally. The day he broke up with me my heart ached like I've never experienced. Now, my list can go on and on with men hurting me, abandoning me, and threatening my life. As I walked through each of my situations a piece of me kept getting deeper and deeper into fear. I was always in "fear of abandonment." Someone was going to leave me and before they could leave me, I decided to leave them. I decided to turn the tables and not allow myself to get hurt but maybe hurt the other person instead. This way it wouldn't affect me so much. That was a lie because it affected me deeply.
So here we are, Rodney and I, reading how God's perfect love casts out fear.  Rodney would say to me that he wasn't going to leave me and in the back of my mind I was saying "yeah right, heard those words before."
But this time I heard it and it was as if God was speaking to me through Rodney. I wept.
Recently I've learned that God speaks through the Holy Spirit, His word, circumstances, and the church (followers of Christ). I know the Holy Spirit was with us in our conversation and I know I've been healed by God through His word. The tears were a washing from the depths of my soul and I am free. I have received this saying "whom the Son sets free is free in deed." I believe that I am free.
You see, God's love does cast out all fear. God loves with an everlasting love, a love that is eternal, He doesn't take it away. We are the ones that take or give it away.
I feel like my spirit is back at being innocent and at the age of 14 sometimes. Oh, I know I'm not, but it is the spirit within me that is healed, renewed, reborn, and free again that allows me to say this.
I don't know what you might be struggling with, but what I do know is that the more you read the word of God and bask in His truth, surrender to His desire to heal your broken heart, He will show up and show off.
God did a God size surgery within my heart and the depths of my soul.
I pray for this triangle relationship between God, Rodney and me to bloom into the most beautiful rose of Sharon. God is doing something wonderful in my life and I am looking for his new mercy and grace everyday.

I hope you are encouraged to seek the face of God today. I hope this encourages you to realize you are not walking in this world alone. Jesus' words are true; he will never leave you nor forsake you. He knows your comings and goings. Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart, mind, soul, and strength and he will lift you up.

Just for today; surrender your mind, body, and soul to the One who created it. Let his spirit flow on you and heal your brokenness today.

~Marjorie

1 John 4:18
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

Ahh, I am in love with Creator of life and love! I pray you will be too.