Precious One

I am in love. I love a man that is kind and gentle, listens to me, wants to fulfill my heart's desires, wipe my tears when I cry, heal my wounds when I fall, and will deal with my bad days too. I am in love with a man that loves me enough to put his needs before my own, encourages me, notices me, adores me, can't get enough of me, and says I am precious to him.

All my life I have been waiting for someone to physically love me like this. I wanted the words that came out to be truly felt in my heart. Looking back, I was receiving the words but they weren't felt in my heart. Sometimes when we read God's words from the Bible, they just come out as plain, meaningless and empty words, but when you are in a love relationship with God they become full of life. You might have a different book on your shelf that does the same thing for you and you can relate to this.

It took me half my life to surrender to Christ to fulfill those words. It took taking my "self" out of the way to allow Christ to give me a man to love me the way he does.

I received a love letter from Jesus and as I read it today, I can hear Rodney saying some of these words to me. Read and absorb Jesus saying these words to you and where you see the word "child" replace it with your name.

My child, My precious child, I adore you.

In fact, I can't get enough of you.  You light up My world.

You bring joy to My heart. You are precious and honored and I  love you. 

With an everlasting love I have loved you.  I think of you day and night.

You are always on My mind and in My heart.

You have filled My heart to overflowing.

My child, the romance with you began even before You were born.

I created you and knew you in your mother's womb and

I knew then i wanted you to be Mine forever.

Your image and your name are engraved permanently in the palm of my hand

You cannot get away from Me.

If you go to the Deepest ocean, I am there.

If you go to the Highest mountain, I am there.

Nothing will ever separate you from My love.

So dear, sweet one, today on this special day of love,

I ask that "YOU BE MINE!"

I promise to love you and care for you 

all the day of your life and then on into eternity.

We were meant to be together forever and ever.

I LOVE YOU, JESUS

At one time I was told no one would love me because I was like a piece of used goods; damaged. Today, I am restored and someone loves me just as I am and with my past.  No more lies, no more deceit, no more shame, no more guilt, no more hurt. Oh I am sure I will be hurt because we are human and that happens, but the hurt will be nothing like the hurt I have endured to get where I am today. 

My friend, be encouraged, you are loved with an everlasting love. You are seen in the midst of your journey and when you think you are alone reach up and allow Jesus to reach down.

God's blessings are just around the corner. 

~Marjorie

I LOVE YOU, JESUS

What Are You Waiting For?

Sometimes, we just need to ask ourselves "what are you waiting for?"  God created us to be more than we could ask or imagine.  We think we can't, he says we can. We think we shouldn't, he may say we should. I wonder if small David was asking King Saul, "what are you waiting for?"
There is some kind of giant in all of our lives that seems to be bigger than we are, bigger than God; bigger than the Universe. However, God says you can do all things through his Son, Jesus Christ. It is a matter of getting out of the stinking thinking between our ears, stop listening to the world around us that says we can't or shouldn't and at least try. I am going to do just that. I am going to at least try and I know I will succeed because my God is a big God. I can do all things because he says so. What the Lord has given me to do is God size and in my own strength I will fail, but because I am not alone I will prevail. It may be for a moment, an hour, or even a day, but I will try and I will succeed.
These words I tell myself when I am on a mission.  When you read it, what did you think? What did you feel? Was your cream rising to the top? Maybe you and I both need to tell ourselves these words more often and stop thinking like broken pot holes.
Just for today, I will try to do better than yesterday for it is a mere memory. Just for today, I will think differently than I did yesterday and if tomorrow comes, I will think better than I did today.

~Be encouraged, what are you waiting for?

Is What You See What You Get?

Recently, I had a conversation with an acquaintance about life and the realization of how a person can only change if they make the choice to change.  I walked away feeling sad for the hurt that this person was feeling. As the day progressed, I recognized that I may have been the only bible this person read.
I wondered why she opened up so much to me. Was it because of the light that excreted from my face? Was it because she knows I work at a Christian radio station? Was it because her thoughts were "she works at a Christian radio station so she has a special 911 connection with the man upstairs."
Whatever the reason is not as important as the words I say or said to her.
Whenever there is an opportunity to brag on Jesus or talk about him, I take it.
It doesn't matter if it's a small story of a blessing that happened that day or a fire that I had to walk through years ago.
Bragging on Jesus means being his representative and his mouth piece and it is very important. When someone sees me in the flesh; I pray they see Jesus in the spirit.
I hope it is the reason why some people are drawn to me.
What if it is my character that attracts people to talk to me? Again, I would have to direct your attention to the one that I belong to. It's kind of like a dog. If a dog is mean, it normally means that the owner is mean. I'm not a dog (although my Sadie and I are cute; lol) however I have taken on the characteristics of the Lord. I've made my mind up to be changed from the inside out. Therefore, my joy or hurt on the inside are clearly seen on the outside.
I can only hope that my friend walked away from me with a breath of fresh air and a changed heart.

My heart's desire is to be transparent and genuine just like Jesus.

Emotional Roller Coasters

Have you ever had a day that you were smiling in the morning, crying at lunch time, angry in the afternoon, and then happy go hopping by the end of the evening? It can wear you down, can't it?
I have had a few dates mark the deaths of some people in my life, I have a wonderful man in my life that I am excited to have in my life, and yet I am sitting here with tears in my eyes. I don't understand it.  I am trying to analyze it. I don't feel sad; no not really.
There are some things I want to change in my life and there are things that have changed that are good and bad, but no these things shouldn't bring me to tears.
Someone once told me that crying was a way of cleansing your soul. I don't know about that, however my eyes are red and sore from all this cleansing going on.
So do you ever have days like this? I feel like a roller coaster and the bar is loose.
I have one hand holding onto that bar and the rest of my body is hanging and ready to fall.
Perhaps this is just part of being a woman. Do men ever feel this way? If they do, why don't we know about it? Did God give us this emotional roller coaster to keep life interesting for those around us?
As I write to you, I think of Hagar. Hagar became pregnant with Abram's child. After finding this out, Hagar began to treat Sarai poorly.  Then Sarai in turn treated Hagar harshly enough to send her out crying by the springs in the wilderness. In the midst of her tears and emotional roller coaster, the Lord saw her. He began to talk with her and comforted her.
How special is that? The God of creation came to this woman that most of society would disregard as favorable. Yet, in He reached out to her.
I don't have a reason for my tears though and I know He is telling me that He sees me.
There is no explanation as to why I feel the way I do. I guess I just need to enjoy the ride and hang on for whatever comes around the corner. 
Enjoy the journey with or without tears.

~Be encouraged; God sees you when no one else does and is with you in your wilderness.
Marjorie

"He Will Walk You To It and See You Through It"

I've been pondering on what God would want to share with others and it is interesting that he gives me one word "testimony." Then a few days later someone asked me to give my "testimony." I have begun to ask the Lord what He would want me to say, in turn I began telling Him what I wanted to come from it; "change."
I want my trials and tribulations that I have walked through to help change the lives of others. Ya, I know, I am not the one that changes people; God does. Then I changed my desire to "let my words be used to change someone else's life."
That is truly my heart's desire. We all have walked through some pretty ugly stuff, abuse of many forms, control, depression, anorexia, addiction, rape, and the list goes on. Some of the people we walk past everyday is dealing with something and those issues are what leads us into the more serious issues of life. For example losing a loved one can lead us into depression and the depression leads us into suicidal tendencies. If we face the loss and talk or cry over it we are less likely to become depressed. It takes having a partner to talk and cry to that helps us get passed the hurt.
We have to recognize responsibility on our own part that there is a hurt or habit that we have to talk about. Then through those talks you become more free from the bondage of your damaged emotions.  Then you are not in the stronghold of the Devil, but in the Peace of God. You may not believe this, but if you take a moment and analyze your life, you will see it.
I share this to say that there is freedom from your hurt and God, the Creator of Heaven and Earth, cares about you and is waiting to hear from you. He is waiting for YOU to allow Him to help you walk through it and walk with you on the other side. The next step will be to share with others the victory you have had in your life to help others walk through their stuff.
Being silent doesn't help anyone and can ultimately hurt you or others. I pray that the drama in your life wears you out so that you can do nothing but deal with the hurt. I pray that the hurt in your life draws you to talk to someone; don't be silent.
Too many times when we are silent is when the Devil tells you "don't tell anyone, they will think or call you crazy." That is a lie! If you hear these words and your body begins to shake, the Devil is rattling your chains. Literally, you walk around bound in chains and the Devil likes it. 
I've been that person who would shake when I even thought about some of the hurts in my life. I then began to talk to a friend and listed all those things and people in my life that hurt me. I confessed about situations that I kept deep inside me and as I brought them to surface one  by one, the shaking began to decrease until it stopped completely. Now I tell others this story. Why? It wasn't by chance that I needed to talk about it, but the love that God has for me that released it. He was the one that I truly surrendered to when my friend prayed for me to bring to the surface the things that kept me bound in fear and hurt.
"No one lights a lamp and hides it in a jar or puts in under a bed. Instead he puts it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light."  The "light" inside the lamp is the stuff that you have kept deep in the dark and haven't talked about and it's killing you inside; the "dark."
God sent His son to die on a cross to save you from the domain of darkness. Christ is offering you a free gift of being saved and it is up to you to accept this free gift. When you do you will want someone to see what Christ did for you. It is important to share the good news with others about our weaknesses and victories so that others will be able to celebrate the freedom from those chains. 
Sharing my "testimony" will be about an area of my life that I have kept a secret but more so it will be bragging on Jesus about freeing me from the bondage the Devil had me in.
What is your testimony? Who are telling? It is time to share it if you haven't. I will help you if you ask for it because there isn't anything better than bragging on Jesus.

Be Encouraged!
~Marjorie

Breaking My Silence

Someone once told me that God takes our messes and makes it our ministry, but today He is taking my mess and making it His message. If what you are about to read offends you, touches you, or changes you I hope you know I will gladly listen and so will others.
When I was in my teens I became pregnant, twice.  I was a mother before I knew what it meant. I was out to fill an empty unexplainable hole and wanted to know what sex was exactly. I went to my mother to ask her, but my grandmother never talked to her about it so how was she to talk to me and my sister?
The sad thing is that I was led to a "planned parenthood" office. I remember people picketing the front sidewalk that day. It was a beautiful spring day. I knew the procedure from the first time, but they still explained that I was carrying nothing more than a tissue; a lifeless blob. The procedure was not exactly described to me, but the "problem" was. The problem was that I was too young to take care of another human being. I was too involved in the community and should be concerned with "what would others think or say?" All I had to do was go to this office and they will take care of the "problem."
What people will not tell you is the cause and affect of "taking care of the problem" instead of offering you solutions to the situation."
When I was fourteen I went to the clinic and it was more like a dream I was walking through. The next time when I was sixteen, it was VERY real. I cared about what I was doing so much so that I lifted my head to see what the doctor / nurse was doing. I felt odd in my stomach so I lifted my head to see what was happening.  I felt tears stream down my face and I cried at the sight of a vacuum. I just knew that this was a living breathing human being, but I was told it was a blob; lifeless tissue. I wanted to scream but couldn't, I wanted to run but my knees were locked so I did nothing.
My heart still cries today for these children I killed. No excuses, no more lies, and no more sweeping it under the carpet.
I've learned that my guilt, shame, self-esteem, suicide thoughts, and more were all part of what comes with an abortion. There is no joy, peace, or love in these things. The problem is not gone after an abortion, it just begins.  The one emotion that I did not do is grieve.
When we face the hurt we've caused, realize we need to forgive, and accept God's love our lives begin to change. It isn't a snap of your fingers kind of change, but a slow gradual change. There are many parts of my life that have been affected by my abortion. When people would talk about abortion my stomach would tighten and I would clench my jaws. I always carried around a deep sense of regret and loss. I believe there are spiritual blocks that come from this act of selfishness.
I recently knew that I needed healing and begin to experience peace in my life.
Before I went to any crisis center, I was in church when I experienced the presence of my children. I could hear a soft whisper in each ear "I forgive you momma and we're waiting for you in heaven." It was after this particular Sunday that I decided to seek help in forgiving, loving, and moving forward. I walked into our local Women's Resource Center and asked for someone to talk to. It was then that I found out I was dealing with "post-abortion" grief. I walked through a post abortion bible study for women and walked away with the knowledge of being free in Christ.
Once again, I thought I was now over the abortions, dealt with it, "I'm good" and I can move on....wrong.
The anniversary of Roe v Wade and the Sanctity of Life is celebrated on January 22, 2012. This date has brought me to another milestone in my life and dealing with abortion. I've asked the Lord to reveal to me what He wants me to deal with in my life; ask and you shall receive.
He directed me to be honest with the father of one of my unborn children. That was difficult to do. I couldn't see him face to face, but the Lord provided a way.
I hurt for him too. I didn't give him the opportunity to know he was a daddy, that he had a part in producing the life of a child, a miracle, a blessing.
I cannot be silent any longer. Abortion is wrong. Abortion is not a quick fix to short term problem. Abortion carries such a book bag of guilt, unworthiness, bondage, unforgiveness, shame, abandonment, hurt  and other bricks with it.  You become a slave to the sin through torment until you choose to be free from the bondage of sin. God doesn't condemn you, but love you. God's anger is slow to wrath, God forgives, God gives freedom and an everlasting life.
Through all the pain, suffering, heartache, and the trials of looking directly at the truth of my abortion experience I have gained peace through God's grace and mercy.

A Post-Abortion Bible Study for Women called Forgiven and Set Free helped me on my journey to healing and with my words above.
I encourage you to do the same; do not be silent anymore. I am the voice of the unheard.
I am a child of God the Father Almighty. I am who God says I am.
A Women's Resource Center is a confidential crisis center and no one will know why you are there unless you tell them.   Call someone today and talk about your options; it's never too late.
Be encouraged!
~ Marjorie

PS. My daughter's name is Victoria (victory) and my son's name is David (a warrior) whom are in heaven with the Jesus Christ and their grandfather. I also have two wonderful living children Brooke (strong flow) and Scott (over comer)
 I look forward to meeting my unborn children one day.

Oil or Water, Sand or Sea, Light or Dark

I use to listen to disc jockeys that were (maybe still are) the playboys on air. They would have listeners come in and do nasty things to themselves or others in order to win tickets to events and they would discuss issues that are distasteful.
Now, I am not saying they are the same today because I do not listen to them anymore. However, I did listen to them Monday through Friday and sometimes on Saturday the radio station would replay some of their segments for a laugh. They were funny guys and they were popular to listen to. The office where I worked we would talk about some of the things that were done that morning on their show and then laugh or tell a joke we heard from them.
Then when Sunday morning came around, I was in church. I sat in the pew, prayed when I was called to and just did the "Sunday thing."  What is so wrong about this, right? I mean everyone else in the church is doing the same thing and it's a popular show. Everyone is doing it. I couldn't help it, they were funny though. It doesn't matter that much and it certainly doesn't affect me listening to these guys. Wrooooong!
Oil and water, sand and sea, light and dark cannot coexist.  Hmmm....

I started to be convicted. I've heard how God is love, Christ is light, and the world is dark. I just didn't get it, didn't care because I wanted to do what I wanted. As I sat in the church I started listening more. I started hearing my friends talk, myself, and others. I realized I didn't like what I heard.
Here is some food for thought.
Therefore, be imitators of God as dearly loved children. And walk in love, as the Messiah also loved us and gave Himself for us, a sacrificial and fragrant offering to God. But sexual immorality and any impurity or greed should not even be heard of among you, as is proper for the saints. Coarse and foolish talking or crude joking are not suitable, but rather giving thanks.  For know and recognize this: every sexual immoral and impure or greedy person, who is an idolater does not have an inheritance in the kingdom of the Messiah and of God. (Eph 5:1-5)
I was a participant in those things just by listening to this show. I couldn't take my kids to church and not sit there myself. If I dropped my kids off at church and I didn't go then I felt guilty; I tried.
If you are struggling with the way this world is and you are being convicted as I was at one time; there is hope. It is your choice to which team you want to play on. I encourage you to be the oil, the sea, and the light; be different and set yourself a part from the world. It is worth it in the end.
It was difficult for me to finally change what I was listening to because it wasn't popular, but I felt better about myself and that was GOOOOOD!


If you are interested in listening to something more uplifting try 91.3 Hope FM. When you click on the link you are taken to the website and you can listen online.

Be encouraged!

Slaying Giants

This morning I began spending my daily quiet time with God with bible reading and prayer. I ended with looking back like a warrior standing on the highest rocks with his staff in hand; he gazes over the giants that he has slaughtered in his lifetime. Each giant had a name: fear of man, resentment, doubt, unbelief, victim, competition, lack of confidence, distrust in man, fear of success, criticism, shyness, and my list keeps going.
"Christ has set us free to live a free life. So take your stand! Never again let anyone put a harness of slavery on you." Galatians 5:1 (MSG)
Someone reading this might say it is impossible to overcome these things or it won't work for them. I know for myself I have said that "I'm okay nothing is wrong with me." "I am just fine the way I am."
One day came that I wasn't okay. I didn't like the life I was living, I didn't enjoy hearing the words coming out of my mouth or the thoughts I heard in my head. I had to do something about it. Have you been here before?
The day I cried out into the air "I can't take it anymore," was the same day my life changed. I noticed people coming into my life that taught me new ways to think, and act.  I recognized that I hung around people that would not help me if my life depended on them. I decided there was room for change and I had to make that change; it began with me.
This morning I answered a question in one of my recovery books. It went like this:
I think we all agree that recovery is a joy, but it also requires hard work. what do you do to celebrate your recovery~even the small victories?
I had to chuckle a little because there was a time in my life that celebrating anything meant a huge party with all the nastiness of life in it. Now my answer is different from back then.  Now I praise God. I have turned on music and danced, wrote about it to others, or rewarded myself with going to a special place or purchasing a special thing.
I didn't get here alone by no means. I give credit to the Lord for starting with me, as far back as I can remember, in 1988. It was a slow process, but as the pages turn in my book of life, I can see the ups and downs. I can see the good people that picked us up to go to church, the family that invited us to dinner, or the church family that took us in and loved on us. I was too selfish to give any love back. I took what I could get from them.
The Lord knew my heart and He never left me alone.
It wasn't until 2005 when I truly wanted more. It was then that I began a recovery group of a different kind. I went to church, but didn't participate too much. Then Pastor Terry spoke and it was like he was talking to me. I heart and soul broke and through my tears, my heart began to shift. My life truly changed. 
I didn't want to drink anymore. I still did what I didn't want to do. The giants were still fighting against me and I was losing the battle once more. However, Pastor Chad and his wife Dawn never gave up on me. They taught me about what God did and said about me. They showed me that God is love. My life changed even more.
God began to show me that the life I was living wasn't good for me or those around me. I began truly working the steps in celebrate recovery which was similar to Al anon or AA.
I didn't know I was slaying giants in my life, but I was. I didn't know I was being watched by others, but I was. I didn't know what plan God had for me, but He did.
Next, I learned to have an "attitude of gratitude." I began writing a list of things I was grateful for. I remember that having a roof that was caving in on my head was something to be grateful for. It's the small stuff and baby steps that count.
I share this with you because if you are looking to make a change in your life, know it can happen. Know that there are people in your path that encourage you for a reason and God does have a plan to prosper you and give you a hope and future. It is up to you to do the hard work in making it happen.
I don't know what your belief is but you cannot do it alone! Yes, I was the warrior standing on the cleft but it was the army behind me that helped me the most and God above that mapped my path out. The same can happen for you. Surrender today to make a change and then be like a begal puppy and go search for your bone which is your freedom in Christ.
~Be Encouraged!

PS. There are many churches on the corner of your city, visit them and find one that God is speaking to you. Find a recovery group that fits your schedule and lifestyle. If you have hurts that is from life alone, go to a celebrate recovery group. If you are dealing with a death in your family, go to grief share or the hospital and find someone to talk to. There is a recovery group for you no matter what the giant you are facing is.
Contact me and I will help you too.