God Size Beginnings

Why do we get so surprised when God does God size things? He is God of love, God of all-knowing, and God all powerful.  We worry about things that we have no need to stress over. We try to do all things in our power and then wonder why these things don't go our way.
We all get on this insanity cycle and either are too comfortable to get off of it or we are filled with so much fear that it paralyzes us to move forward.
I have been on both sides of this fence, oh let me not forget that when we procrastinate it kills the action that needs to be completed. None the less, we expect different things to happen even when we keep doing the same things. Can you think of something in your life that you keep trying to make happen differently, but you keep doing the same thing and the results are the same?  Yeah, the insanity wheel.

Well the LORD has guided my steps to come off of my insanity wheel, at least one wheel. What I have found is that when I totally surrendered myself to God and said okay, I keep screwing things up so I'm just going to let  you have your way with me, my life changed. I was bound and determined that since I kept messing my life up, doing things my way and not listening to him, that he would want me to be alone for the rest of my life. I was trying to prepare myself for that very thing.  I dove more into what I was doing around me, adding more things to my plate to keep my mind occupied and on the go.
Then one day the LORD prompted me to make a phone call to a gentleman name Rodney who heads up Jesus Jam youth event in Crescent City; so I did. We talked and I offered help where the LORD was guiding me to.
The event was a success, I saw relationships renewed, lives changed, and a lot of good music, skits, and more.  After the event, Rodney and I talked more and more. As we kept in contact with each other, our friendship began to grow and it is still growing.  The things we shared about our walk with the world and with the LORD were amazing at times. We are still fascinated by what God is doing in our lives.
The Holy Spirit reminded me of a time back when I was 14 years old or younger. There was a boy in our neighborhood that I went to school with and his name was Rodney. He came to my house to visit and during that evening, I knew that he was the one I was going to marry. I knew it in my spirit that I was going to marry him because his name was Rodney. I couldn't explain it, I just knew it. Well, a few days later, Rodney was cleaning his hunting gun to prepare for a weekend trip with his dad and the trigger went off. When I got the news, my heart sank and I guess I gave up on my feelings. After all, I was taught that feelings are facts.
One evening a few weeks ago, I was talking face to face with Rodney and my spirit swelled up in me and I lashed out.."your name! your name!" Rodney looked at me with peace and said "yes, what about my name." I told him about the story I just told you.
The Holy Spirit as the reminder shared that with me. I had forgotten it.  I also had a day where I questioned if I should get as close I have been with Rodney because of his past and mine. I have learned to go to my knees and talk with God about where He is at work in my life around me.  I want to please God before anyone else and do His work before my own. God quickly gave me peace about Rodney and me with what we do, say, and go. The spiritual world I experience when I am with Rodney is like no other time with others that I have been around. I know that God will reveal to others what He wants others to see through our walk.

What I didn't know before that phone call, was that Rodney had asked the LORD for me.
Can you see the picture? I resided to being so hidden in Christ that the boy would have to go to the Father and ask for me; just as Rodney did.   I know that the covering of the Lord is shifting from us being individuals to being one in the Spirit of the Lord. I don't know exactly what God is doing with us, but what I do know is that what I am experiencing with Rodney through Christ is God sized. What is going to happen is God driven and God completed. I am enjoying the journey of experiencing God.
Just a thought, if God knew us while were in our mother's womb than it is possible He knew us before we were there too.

Experiencing a God size beginning,

~Marjorie

New Beginnings

♫ I'm in a hurry to get things done, oh I rush and rush until life's no fun. All I really gotta to do is live and die, but I'm in a hurry and don't know why.♪  Do you know this song by Alabama? It really explains how I lived my life. I did things my way. I remember a time in my life that my parents and siblings tried to explain to me that I didn't have to get married at age 18. I didn't listen, I wanted my life to begin, be my own boss, and do what I wanted to do.
Little did I know that that was the beginning of the hardest life's lessons I had to endure. It was a good time too, don't get me wrong. I have two beautiful children and a grandson that came from this adventure I call "wild child years."
My "wild child years" didn't stop until 2005 or more. I still wanted to have both of my feet on each side of the road.  You know what I mean. The left foot is on the bible side and the yellow line in the middle with the right foot on the worldly side. I wanted my cake and to eat it too. I quickly found out that the Lord wanted all of me. So one day, I realized what I was doing, how being worldly made me feel and I decided that one Saturday evening coming home from Celebrate Recovery that I wanted all of God's blessings. So I turned my life around and made a complete change.
The best way for me to express what is happening in my life would to call it "New Beginnings." You see, I cling to what the LORD says in His word.
Psalm 37:3-4 
Trust in the LORD, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.
 ⁴ Delight yourself also in the LORD, And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
I truly believe that if the LORD wants me to surrender to His desires therefore His desires become my desires. I only have to trust in Him and do what He wants me to do.
I recently recognized that sometimes we relapse into our old selves in order to allow God to move us forward. We are tempted without knowing why and we relapse. It is in that moment we make a choice to live in this is old lifestyle or not.
No matter what I walked through I knew the Lord wanted to restore to me what the locusts have stolen.
“ So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, The crawling locust, The consuming locust, And the chewing locust, My great army which I sent among you." Joel 2:25
I recently shared with you that Jesus showed me that I was in a relationship with Him and it really opened my spiritual conscious. I really enjoyed the reality of a personal, realistic, and progressive relationship with the Creator. He loves me and I love him, what could be better? Having a partner to share God's love with others, enjoying pleasing God the way He wants to be pleased and journeying on a road that He paves and not ourselves.
This to me would make life better. I want a relationship where I am free to be me, trusted, and not afraid of anything; a warrior. Yes, a warrior for Jesus in my life, that is what I want.
I think God looked at me and laughed "haha, I know what you want because it's what I want too." I wasn't looking for anyone to be my partner, I wasn't "scoping the scene," or
even looking. I honestly was crying out to God and surrendering that since Timothy states that it is better to be alone and serve the Lord that is what I will do.  I found peace in my heart when I surrendered to this reality.
I can honestly say that my life has changed and it is changing in ways I never thought or imagined, but isn't that like God?  He says his ways are higher than my ways and his thoughts are higher than my thoughts, so why should I be surprised at what he is accomplishing through me?  I'm not surprised anymore.  I have my spiritual conscious eyes open and I can see him at work around me. I love it.
I have so much to share, but for now I must go and do the work he has prepared for me to do today.
I pray you are seeing God's love like you have never seen it before. He truly is the King of kings and the Lord of lords and loves with an everlasting love.
Hmmmmm, oh how I love him.

~Marjorie