Trusting in the Dark

It seems to have been a long time ago since I have felt so lost, but I have been these past few days. Most of you know that I have had many changes come in my life over the coarse of nine months. I have had so many great days and I still am.  I am experiencing love like I've never truly allowed myself to experience before. I am growing and I can feel the changes taken place because they are unconventional, strange, bewildering, and down right uncomfortable.
I am transforming from being lead by God Almighty to being lead by a man of God. This is the unfamiliar territory that has me feeling shredded inside.  I clung to the scripture from Romans 3:4 that said "Let God be true and every man a liar." I had to keep my guard up because I expected bad things to happen due to different circumstances. It's not that way today and in this new relationship I have trust, admiration, interest, and attachment.
No, my transformation is allowing God to use my spouse to lead me and I am to trust him. Have you ever played  the game called "Trust?"  There are many variations of it but this one takes two people. You wear a blind fold and your partner has to lead you around an obstacle course or vice versa.   You are in the dark, vulnerable to objects around this course and you have to trust this person is going to keep you safe from harm. This is the best way I know how to describe where I am at. I am that blindfolded person. I am placing my trust into someone I have confidence in and yet there are traps set before me all over by Satan himself.
Now, I am moving in one direction with my partner having a clear vision as to what he is suppose to do, but I am in the dark. God hasn't revealed to me what my part is in ministry, what my responsibility is or will be, and yet I have to trust in what God has revealed to my husband.
As I write this I wonder if I have a pride issue; uh oh! Maybe it isn't pride but independence that is shifting my ground. I was an independent woman. I took care of my bills, meals, car, rent, problems and God always showed me why I was doing ministry where He placed me. God didn't hide anything from me; until now.
What are we taught? Hebrew 11:11  "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."  So, as I will pull up my big girl pants, I am going to stop my crying, whining, and disgruntled attitude and change my perspective. I am willing to change for the better.
Oh please, don't think this is an instantaneous change. No, I believe it's going to take some work. However, I am squinting my eyes shut, clutched fists, I'm holding breathe and I'll jump right in when it's time to. Until then, I'll walk the diving board or plank until it's time to jump with trust.

So what are you facing today that is leaving you feeling alone, lost, and totally in despair? Are you looking in the rear view mirror? Are you uncertain of your future too? Be encouraged that you are not alone, we both are not lost, and we definitely are not in depair. We just need to change our perspective and position. We can do it, both you and I; together.  Ready?

I hope this has encouraged you as it has me today. I encourage you to live one moment at a time, one second at a time, accept hardships as a pathway to peace, taking as Jesus did this sinful world as it is, not as you would have it; trusting that Jesus will make all things right if you surrender to His will; so that you may be reasonably happy in this life and supremely happy with Jesus forever in the next.

~Amen, so let it be



Prayer came from the Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr, it speaks volumes at a times of difficulty; yet brings a peace through the words spoken. Feel it?

~Marjorie

More Than Just a Green Crate

Rodney and I occasionally stop at the local fresh market for some fruits and vegetables. Rodney always seeks out the strawberries. They are normally piled high in a plain green crate. The strawberries themselves are tempting with their bright red color and dark seeds on top as a decoration. Rodney can't wait to pay for the crate, he takes one and bites into it with great anticipation of a sweet and juicy taste. Before we can get home or out of the market, Rodney has devoured this scrumptious treat of strawberries. Can you just imagine how one would taste right now? My mouth is watering with desire, is yours?
The green crate that the strawberries were held in was not fancy nor a container that I would want to keep, but what was inside is what mattered.
If you look in one's home you may find a Bible sitting on the shelf, on a night stand, or a coffee table. The book just might have dust on it from not being touched. The cover may not be desirable to even look at especially if it was used by another person that knew what sweetness it held inside.
I looked at my bible this morning. I have one that the cover is coming off, the edges are worn, and it has notes written inside it. My Bible is definitely not one that looks like it would be my first pick. In fact, I am attempting to use another Bible, but it just wasn't the same this morning. I was drawn to this rugged covered Bible with the pages torn and worn. Yet it is the taste of the delicious and succulent words inside that draws out the flavor which is captivating.
I was drawn to read Psalms 73; from verses 1-22 it is a worldly view of people doing all kinds of awful things while being prosperous in health and wealth. From verses 23-28 it a Godly view that is so intriguing and pleasurable.  The first 22 verses is that green crate and the rest of the chapter is the plump, tantalizing, and fullness of God's love for those who choose him.
It isn't what you see that matters (the green crate or the red strawberries shape), but it is what you cannot see that matters in the end; the savory taste.  God tells us that we will have trials and hardships in this life, but we should count it all joy with thanksgiving because it is the end with Him that will matter.

I don't know if you read your Bible everyday, once a week, or on special occasions. What I do know is there is a mouthwatering and tasty treat inside that relates to every need and desire you have for your life. I encourage you to pick up your dusty bible, the one that sits on your night stand or shelf and open to the book of John. There you will find the love that you have always longed for.  It is a romance novel, an adventure, mystery, comedy and tragedy book written Just For YOU.

~Enjoy the sweetness of your tomorrows